I hear, "you're not that different to the rest of us... really!"
I hear, "it can't be that hard for you, surely!"
I hear, "I'm trying to make you feel better about who you are..."
But here's the thing.
Not everyone is a little bit on the spectrum.
Lots of people may have some traits that are similar to those of us on the spectrum, but unless a person experiences many of those traits, all the time, then no, they are not on the spectrum.
And here's a little something (from my perspective) that I'd like you to know.
When a person who is autistic or Aspergers tells you about themselves, quite often it has taken much courage to do so. Often the person is risking judgement, and leaving themselves open for questions and discussion that can be tricky to handle.
I often wonder if people then use the response of "but everyone is a little bit on the spectrum" thinking that they're helping the person disclosing to feel better?
But you know what?
It doesn't make me feel better. I actually feel pretty great just as I am.
What I think it does do, though, is actually belittle the challenges that we face, and makes light of the work that we do to get by in a world that caters mainly for non-autistic people.
I'm sure people don't mean to belittle, and don't mean to make light of the coping mechanisms that we use and have to keep finding.
But, from my perspective, that's what it can do.
Please, when you next feel the urge to say "but everyone is a little bit on the spectrum", try and first think... 'is what I'm about to say going to acknowledge the person that I'm talking to, or could I potentially be devaluing their efforts in the world?'
Elissa x
